wiedzminka | ❧ IC INBOX: Abraxas

We were balls deep in a cave checking for Geralt Junior Jrs. when this freaky giant lizard monster dropped down from the ceiling on us. Scuffle ensues, and then the next thing I know your creepy ass pops whirls around with his eyes all fully demonic. I almost chopped his head off. This is the kind of thing you warn people about if you're gonna run around waving pointy things together.

[ As per usual, it takes a minute to even parse what the fuck Dean is saying. (Creepy Ass Pops??) And then what he could possibly mean by it. ]

All right. I have several questions.

One: What are Geralt Junior Jrs?

Two: What exactly happened that scared you?

Three: Did you see him drink any potions before it happened?

1. Baby Geralt Juniors

( o b v i o u s l y )

2. Where I'm from, black eyes are almost exclusively a sign of demonic possession.

3. No. He told me about the elixir situation after the whole thing went down, apparently the big magic fuck-off rock we're all tied to gave him a fun party trick. No potions necessary.

[ Wow, okay, super helpful explanation there, Dean. ]

1. I repeat: what??

2. I'm not aware of any specific signifiers like that. Wouldn't it make them very easy to spot?

3. "Fuck-off rock" is a new one. Though I'd argue it doesn't want us to fuck off at all, but rather the opposite.

[ The Singularity has given some people the ability to do magic they wouldn't normally be able to access, or even facilitated physical changes and transformations. No more unusual than a bard being able to grow blackberry bushes at a whim. But it is still a bit... unnerving, every time someone discovers a sudden ability or change like this. She can't blame Dean for being startled (and she'll have to ask Geralt about it later, just in case Dean's leaving something out).

It also makes her wonder if she's going to discover some odd new ability one day, the thought of which is mildly anxiety-inducing. As far as Ciri's aware, the "fuck-off rock" hasn't seen fit to give her any gifts, and she's honestly okay with that. ]

1. I'm not sure what part of this you aren't getting. A couple months ago we tracked a Geralt Junior up a mountain, turns out she had a mate and a nest. We circled back to check for Junior Jrs. in case we missed any.

2. They don't always have them on display, it's something they tend to flash when they're being peak douchebag. Usually takes something to trigger them into flaring up.

3. Yeah, no, it's more like everybody else should fuck off and leave the damn thing alone.

( Here's to neither of them ever discovering any new fun gifts from the big spooky rock.

If only... )

Geralt mentioned going out looking for a nest. Some sort of avian beast.

[ She's trying to remember the actual name... if Geralt had mentioned it. He might've, in passing. It certainly was not "Geralt Junior."

Why is Dean like this. ]

You found something else there?

Bingo. That's the one.
Told that son of a bitch that since he discovered it he got to name it, but he wouldn't, so I took the liberty.

They're Geralt Juniors.

( Never mind that they actually have a name — he doesn't know what it is and Geralt hasn't corrected him. It's too late now. It stuck. )

But yeah, we found a freaky ceiling lizard dog.

Of course you did.

And the "ceiling lizard dog" is the Geralt Junior Junior, even though it's not one of the birds?

[ Dean, why are you like this. ]

That name's temporary, I don't know if it's gonna stick. It was kind of spur of the moment.

No. Too confusing.

That one's a Dean Junior, for sure.

Woah woah woah
You weren't there, you don't get naming rights

Then show me.

I'm not afraid of any Dean Junior Ceiling Dogs.

Sure would love to, but it's dead. Take it up with your pops.

Come to think of it, he might've brought home the tail.

If he took home the trophy, he gets naming rights.

But the only name he knows is "Roach," and it's for horses.

Meaning: logically, I take over naming rights, and it becomes Dean Junior.

What the hell
No friggin way
That's not how that works, you don't get to INHERIT naming rights, this isn't a friggin aristocracy

It's fine.

Geralt won't mind.

So what?! He doesn't make the rules

Who makes the rules?

I don't know, they're just
The rules
It's like physics, they just ARE
Look, if I gotta explain them to you, you obviously don't get it, so you're disqualified from the naming things council

So are they immutable laws of existence, like physics?

Or council-based, like village elders?

Keep your story straight, Dean. I'm beginning to think these rules might not exist at all!

Hardy har har, smartass
Look, the next time me and you go hunting and we run into something weird, sure, the name's all yours
But if we're calling something Dean Junior it's gonna have to be a lot more awesome than a freakin' ceiling lizard, that's all I'm saying

And here I thought it suited you.

But perhaps something like a zeugl is more like you. At least by the smell.

[ Yes. She has resorted to calling Dean stinky. It's his own fault. ]

I smell freakin delightful, you shut your face

Shut my face and pinch my nose. Good advice.

I'll go ask Geralt about the Dean Junior tail. Eager to see your legacy.

[ And get Geralt to start calling it that too, if he'll go along with it. Could be fun.

Ciri's content to let Dean yell about it a while longer if he wishes to, but she done responding for now, and feeling pretty amused about the whole thing. The part about agreeing to get that anti-possession tattoo is already practically forgotten. A problem for future Ciri to deal with. ]

I hate you

( that's it that's the end )

❧ IC INBOX: Abraxas

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